Addictive Relationships

Addictive Relationships

Addictive relationships don't always start with relationship addiction, but there is often a correlation. Many people who get involved in addictive relationship do it because they constantly need to be with somebody. They find a sense of identity in being part of a couple, not in some sort of inward sense of self. The really tough thing is that they can't even be happy within their relationships. They are always trying to change people, constantly finding themselves in relationships with the wrong person because they dive into things much too quickly.

To be honest, I never would have figured out that I had issues with addictive relationships if things hadn't started getting serious. It was like all of a sudden I was getting to know someone better than I had ever known anyone before, and it was freaking me out. There were all sorts of things that I wanted to be different about my partner, and now that I was seeing who she really was, I suddenly felt like I couldn't take it. It wasn't like I wanted to break up – I still loved her – but I could feel that both of us were having a tough time getting to a higher level of emotional intimacy. Our own previous addictive relationship dynamics made it tougher for either of us to get close enough to understand our partners and let them be who they wanted to be.

In the end, we both decided counseling for addictive relationships. On some level, I thought this might be overreacting, but I just couldn't risk it. This relationship meant so much to me, and I wanted to make sure that it worked out. I found myself wishing that I had discovered my addictive relationship problems earlier on and sought treatment before I had met the woman of my dreams. That would have made things so much easier. In the end, however, it didn't matter. We worked through our own interpersonal problems together, and each of us came out of therapy a happier and healthier person. It was really nice to see everything work out so well. It could have so easily gone the other way if we had been less tuned into what was going on between us. Through communication and honesty, we were able to overcome our history of addictive relationships.

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